Truly loving oneself connects with a number of attitudes about self. Three very important examples are:
Self Confidence – confidence in oneself and in one’s powers and abilities.
Self Respect – due respect for oneself, one’s character, and one’s conduct.
Self Control – restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.
Feeling the right way about oneself does not require appoval from others. We find we may be tempted to equate being lovable with the sense of being loved by others. Rather, we will have discovered we must develop the attitude within that we are worthy of respect and love, even with our imperfections and our critics.
Self Image – The conception that one has of oneself, including an assessment of qualities and personal worth. (This definition is clearly neutral)
Self Worth – Pride in oneself; self-respect. (Self-worth can be a confusing term. Watch out for pride)
Our perception of self can get out of control on our journey. Out of control self-image becomes self-centeredness. Self-centeredness is usually based on a denial and cover-up of low attitudes about self.
Self-Esteem is a word that has gained much attention in recent years and has confused many. Low self-esteem and high self-esteem are presented as an “either/or” – low is bad and high is good. That is the basis of the confusion. Healthy self-esteem is a better description of one who has the best attitudes about self.
Pride in oneself is an attitude that can become out of control. Too much pride in oneself leads to a “better than everyone else” attitude. We will have discovered on our joyful pursuit of happines excessive pride can lead to lethal attitudes about self and is the First of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Posted in Fuel
Tagged attitude, character, conduct, Growth, humility, joy, Life, love, pride, self, self confidence, self control, self image, self respect, self worth, self-esteem
We will have discovered our purpose on this earth is not to simply satisfy ourselves. Our purpose is unique to each of us. It is focused on service to others and helping life grow.
Self-centered behavior is needed at times on our journey. We must take care of ourselves; physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Also, once our values and beliefs are developed and strong, we will find the need to stand up for these.
The balance of our behavior focused on others and other life compared to the focus on ourselves is one of the most difficult balance subjects on our joyful journey. The best balance for each of us varies. We will have discovered the best place to land is to focus mostly on others and other life without ever permitting the focus on ourselves to be dangerously low.
Posted in Vehicles
Tagged balance, behavior, beliefs, Growth, joy, Life, purpose, self, self centered, service to others, values
There’s nothing wrong with me! It’s all because of them, they’re the problem!
We will have discovered on our joyful pursuit of happiness we tend to judge others on their obvious weaknesses and judge ourselves on our greatest plans yet to produce results.
We will discover we benefit by changing some things we don’t like about ourself. We cannot correct all our weaknesses; however we discover it is best to change some. Spending time on this is a difficult balance. Most of us will have the feeling late in life we spent too much time beating ourself up and being too frustrated at some of our weaknesses. The truth is some of those will not have even been weaknesses. We just thought they were.
We also will have discovered it is helpful to change some things we do like about ourself. Building on strengths is a part of this. Another part is losing interest and motivation. We all will find we become complacent about something we once liked very much; a habit, a physical characteristic, a belief, and more.
The best way we change ourself is through true belief the change is what we strongly desire, true belief we can do it, and true commitment to doing what it takes to get there. Asking “how do I know when I am there?” helps focus on the result.
Posted in Paths
Tagged balance, belief, change, commitment, complacent, focus, frustration, Growth, habit, joy, judging, Life, motivation, plans, result, results, self, strengths, weaknesses
Wow! Getting someone to change is so hard! Why don’t they listen?
Most would say it is harder to change others than to change oneself. The truth is they are both very hard. Both can be very easy, as well. We will have discovered on our journey it is best to change some about ourselves, some about others, and some about both.
Focusing on how difficult it might seem to facilitate a change just slows us down. When a change simply does not happen, let it go. We then can consider it later.
This is a roadsign for our journey to a joyful pursuit of happiness.