Tag Archives: regret

Lack of Commitment

There was a clear lack of commitment when that did not get done, they divorced, the project was late, she resigned, he was downsized, it got out of control, she did not graduate.

It is easy to judge. The truth is we do not have enough information to judge others when it comes to commitment. There are valid reasons to break commitments. There are examples of a lack of commitment also. We rarely have enough information to judge.

Commitment is a challenge to our own personal integrity. Only we can determine the level of commitment we had in our heart when results did not come. Focusing on personal responsibility to commit and to determine if lack of our personal commitment was a factor in an outcome is the only true way to address commitment.

A major issue for commitment is time. Are we only obligated to commit in the beginning? Are we free to cease commitment because of what we see? Are we poised to remove ourselves if we suspect “they” are not committed? Commitment implies a dedication from start to finish, no matter what, barring unacceptable behavior or obstacles. The weakness in our English language implies we commit at the beginning, continue to commit if circumstances warrant, and declare we were commited if results are successful.

We will have discovered on our joyful pursuit of happiness commitment is a delicate balance of doing what it takes, no matter what, and of coming to believe it is time to bow out. Taking this lightly, blaming others and/or circumstances for the reason to bow out can lead to a series of paths of regret.

Instant Gratification

That sounds awesome. I want to do that now. Let’s do it. No matter what!

Instant gratification creates an very interesting result. Many times a spur of the moment choice becomes a lifetime memory. The memory can be a great pleasure remembered over and over. It can also be a lasting regretful experience. A desire for the moment becomes an event for the rest of our lives.

We will have discovered savoring the great memories and putting the regrets behind us with a commitment to avoiding in the future are the best paths to take on our joyful journey of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Regrets Quote

This is a roadsign on OneRoad Traveled

To regret deeply is to live afresh

Henry David Thoreau

The Past

Should have chosen the other path! Could have gotten in, if it hadn’t been for that teacher! Would have done that, if only I had known. Shoulda, coulda, woulda!

We all have a tendency to blame the past for where we are on our journey. We’re human. None of our pasts are perfect. Blaming the past and dwelling on regretful experiences have a way of causing our journey to be stressful, not joyful.

Celebrate the past. Learn from it. Cherish it. The past is already a part of each OneRoad Traveled. Unhappy experiences are a part of our journey, but they can lead to significant paths of happy future experiences. Every joyful human being has had unhappy experiences.

Emotional choices

OOOOOHHHH WOW, I’ve just gotta do something RIGHT NOW!

Choices made while experiencing high emotional levels, positive or negative anxiety, are very risky. The choices we regret the most are those made as a quick reaction to anger.  Other regretful choices can result from fear, elation, depression, self ecstasy, et. al. The most successful choices come when shortly after high anxiety has eased, perhaps the next day, we choose to do something constructive or healing.

Far too often, after moving our high anxiety to emotional balance, we fail to choose to take effective action. Missed opportunities for positive personal change or for relationship building can hurt for a lifetime. As many have said throughout history, we regret in life what we did not do much more than what we did do.