Tag Archives: judging

Lack of Commitment

There was a clear lack of commitment when that did not get done, they divorced, the project was late, she resigned, he was downsized, it got out of control, she did not graduate.

It is easy to judge. The truth is we do not have enough information to judge others when it comes to commitment. There are valid reasons to break commitments. There are examples of a lack of commitment also. We rarely have enough information to judge.

Commitment is a challenge to our own personal integrity. Only we can determine the level of commitment we had in our heart when results did not come. Focusing on personal responsibility to commit and to determine if lack of our personal commitment was a factor in an outcome is the only true way to address commitment.

A major issue for commitment is time. Are we only obligated to commit in the beginning? Are we free to cease commitment because of what we see? Are we poised to remove ourselves if we suspect “they” are not committed? Commitment implies a dedication from start to finish, no matter what, barring unacceptable behavior or obstacles. The weakness in our English language implies we commit at the beginning, continue to commit if circumstances warrant, and declare we were commited if results are successful.

We will have discovered on our joyful pursuit of happiness commitment is a delicate balance of doing what it takes, no matter what, and of coming to believe it is time to bow out. Taking this lightly, blaming others and/or circumstances for the reason to bow out can lead to a series of paths of regret.


Changing Ourself

There’s nothing wrong with me! It’s all because of them, they’re the problem!

We will have discovered on our joyful pursuit of happiness we tend to judge others on their obvious weaknesses and judge ourselves on our greatest plans yet to produce results.

We will discover we benefit by changing some things we don’t like about ourself. We cannot correct all our weaknesses; however we discover it is best to change some. Spending time on this is a difficult balance. Most of us will have the feeling late in life we spent too much time beating ourself up and being too frustrated at some of our weaknesses. The truth is some of those will not have even been weaknesses. We just thought they were.

We also will have discovered it is helpful to change some things we do like about ourself. Building on strengths is a part of this. Another part is losing interest and motivation. We all will find we become complacent about something we once liked very much; a habit, a physical characteristic, a belief, and more.

The best way we change ourself is through true belief the change is what we strongly desire, true belief we can do it, and true commitment to doing what it takes to get there. Asking “how do I know when I am there?” helps focus on the result.

Assessing Ourselves

Who in the world are we?!

The more we experience life the more we discover ourselves. We discover new traits and abilities, we surprise ourselves, we’re told something about us we would not have believed about ourselves, and sometimes we deny it when we shouldn’t.

One of the best behaviors we can have is self discovery. No one knows themself perfectly. The journey is to grow in our knowledge and understanding of self.

The exact words may vary, but many wise people have said we tend to judge ourselves based more on our aspirations than our current strengths and weaknesses.

That still leaves the answer to the question, “who in the world are we?” The answer is no one knows exactly, it’s part of the journey. Assessing ourselves is a part of assessing life’s choices — perhaps the most important part.

Timely Choices

Speedy action, slow but sure, haste makes waste, what are we waiting for?!! 

There is always an issue of how long we spend thinking about a choice before we make it. When we judge others taking too long to take action we call them a procrastinator. When we judge they are acting too quickly we label  them too hasty.

The truth is we do not have all relevant information for any given choice. We are not all knowing. Perhaps the most important aspects of a choice in life is how much information do we choose to pursue and how much we choose to believe the information. Some of us are wired to have a bias to make the choice quickly based on the information we do have. Some of us tend toward gathering additional information until we feel we have identified all the options and considered each option thoroughly.

There is no right or wrong in most choices we make on a daily basis. It varies greatly by individual and by the nature of the choice.

Learn about life and about yourself by considering the results of your own choices. Include learning about the results of choices of others you know and trust. Do not dwell on the choices you made you believe you could have made better. We all have a tendency to beat ourselves up and continue to regret poor choices. It is by far best to learn from it and move on with our personal life journey.

When we “think about” a choice it is common to use words such as assess, consider, deliberate, estimate, evaluate, and weigh. Each word has meaning which varies somewhat. Let us choose “assess” as our word for thinking about choices.  Assess is the one word that brings in both the ideas of considering and evaluating.

The next few posts on OneRoad will be about assessing.

By the way, the only word in Roget’s New Millenium Thesaurus that has exactly the above list of synonyms is balance.