Tag Archives: bowing out

Lack of Commitment

There was a clear lack of commitment when that did not get done, they divorced, the project was late, she resigned, he was downsized, it got out of control, she did not graduate.

It is easy to judge. The truth is we do not have enough information to judge others when it comes to commitment. There are valid reasons to break commitments. There are examples of a lack of commitment also. We rarely have enough information to judge.

Commitment is a challenge to our own personal integrity. Only we can determine the level of commitment we had in our heart when results did not come. Focusing on personal responsibility to commit and to determine if lack of our personal commitment was a factor in an outcome is the only true way to address commitment.

A major issue for commitment is time. Are we only obligated to commit in the beginning? Are we free to cease commitment because of what we see? Are we poised to remove ourselves if we suspect “they” are not committed? Commitment implies a dedication from start to finish, no matter what, barring unacceptable behavior or obstacles. The weakness in our English language implies we commit at the beginning, continue to commit if circumstances warrant, and declare we were commited if results are successful.

We will have discovered on our joyful pursuit of happiness commitment is a delicate balance of doing what it takes, no matter what, and of coming to believe it is time to bow out. Taking this lightly, blaming others and/or circumstances for the reason to bow out can lead to a series of paths of regret.

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When to Bow Out

We will have discovered on our journey there are rewarding times to bow out of an environment or situation we have been in.

We bow out when we choose not to accept something we truly believe we cannot change.

We bow out when we choose to no longer endeavor to change what we cannot accept.

We bow out when we feel there is more to be learned elsewhere. We will have the feeling in our heart it is simply time to move on. When we do choose to move on, we do so with grace.

Grace is a very beautiful friend to have.

Forego an Advantage

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Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing in life is to know when to forego an advantage.

Benjamin Disraeli

Staying Too Long

Time to move on? No, wait, if I just hang on a year or two more, it will be……..

When to bow out of an environment is one of the challenging choices in life. Changing jobs, moving our residence, retiring, no longer living with parents, severing a relationship are some examples we all face during our joyful journey. No one bows out of environments with perfect timing every time.

We will have discovered, as we gain experience bowing out, we tend to err on the side of taking too long to move on. Our jobs go from challenging and rewarding to draining and boring. Our relationship with a friend can go from comforting and trusting to one of constant conflict and anxiety. Individuals are no longer in control of choosing a late retirement.

Fame and fortune bring example after example of this challenge via the media. Stage, screen, and TV stars; famous singers and musicians; superstar athletes and legendary coaches; and elected and appointed governmental officials provide example after example of going far beyond the best time to bow out.

With a successful past, it is very difficult to focus on future opportunities. Life is very difficult. We will have discovered as we review our journey in later years we regret most the things we did not do. Bowing out sooner versus later can be a major category of “If I had it to do over again……”