What have I done?! I can’t believe I thought that was OK! Oh my, what do I do now?
No human being is exempt from shameful behavior. We will have discovered we will need to do one or more of the following when we feel ashamed of what we have done:
- Forgive ourselves and make a heartfelt commitment to not repeating the behavior.
- Make amends to those affected by our behavior.
- Completely accept we are capable of shameful behavior, put it behind us and move on.
Carrying guilt is an enormous burden for any of us. We must resolve the shame felt by our behavior. We must resolve the shame felt by any condition we happen to find ourselves.
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Tagged acceptance, amends, behavior, commitment, forgive, Growth, guilt, joy, Life, resolve, shame
What have I done?! How could I have been so self-centered?!! Why did I give in to that temptation?!!!
When we feel a conscious regret for our own behavior we have an obligation to ourselves to resolve the feeling of regret. We will have discovered the following to be approaches that work, depending on the nature of the situation.
- Accept the situation as it occurred, understand we are not perfect, and truly put it behind us.
- Resolve the behavior is not to be repeated.
- Offer sincere apologies to anyone affected.
- Make amends with those affected that the behavior will not be repeated.
Circumstances may call for one of these, or may call for a combination of the approaches above.
Traveling on OneRoad is very hard sometimes.
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Tagged acceptance, amends, apology, behavior, Growth, joy, Life, regrets, resolution, resolve, temptation
For the countless choices in life, the truth is there are simply three paths before us at all times:
The paths for our joyful journey are as easy as ABC to describe and as difficult to execute as life itself.
We will have discovered on our journey there are rewarding times to bow out of an environment or situation we have been in.
We bow out when we choose not to accept something we truly believe we cannot change.
We bow out when we choose to no longer endeavor to change what we cannot accept.
We bow out when we feel there is more to be learned elsewhere. We will have the feeling in our heart it is simply time to move on. When we do choose to move on, we do so with grace.
Grace is a very beautiful friend to have.
This roadsign is over 2,500 years old.
Nothing endures but change
Accepting change is the only constant is crucial to our joyful journey.
During our joyful journey we will have found accepting a situation as it is and changing the way we view it is extremely powerful. It is the most powerful combination of accepting and changing since we have total control over how we view anything.
Mother and Dad retired and chose to do what many did at the time and go to a warmer climate. After Mother passed away, Dad lived another seventeen years. I remember visits to my father’s home in Florida.
He always wanted to take me to one of his favorite places for dinner. During each trip he would give me step by step directions: turn the headlights on, turn left, one more block, turn right-on-red here, park in the back… After several trips to Florida, several drives to the same restaurant, same step-by-step directions, over and over, I became increasingly angry. How can he think I don’t know the way to the restaurant by now? He must think I have the brains of the parking lot in the back. I tried to tell him, but nothing changed.
Then things changed. Dad continued to give directions, but I began hoping for the directions, silently cheering as he gave each step of the way. The situation didn’t change, only the way I viewed it. I became grateful, for it told me he was still able to get around at his age. Also, in my heart, I knew he had always been proud of me.
It was the first time I realized the roles of responsible adult and dependent might have to change.